"Confessions of a Former Member of Bedside Baptist," from Excel Magazine

From Excel Magazine, Spring 2008...

"Confessions of a Former Member of Bedside Baptist"

During my first semester of college I found the most comfortable place to attend on Sunday mornings. It was a warm, cozy spot where nobody gave you a nasty look if you showed up late or took off early for lunch. Unfortunately, after several months I discovered that my bed wasn’t doing much for my spiritual life.

It’s not that I didn’t want to go to church, it’s just that I liked staying up with my buddies on Saturday nights. And I liked to sleep. And let’s be honest, if you miss a week here or there, it’s not that big of a deal.

Actually, I was even good my first few weeks and tried out some churches. But I didn’t really like them. They weren’t as good as my home church, and I didn’t have anyone to go with. When facing the buzzing alarm at 8:30 on a Sunday morning, the choice between listening to a sub-par sermon in a lonely pew or a few more hours with my head on a pillow felt like choosing between a health shake and a milk shake. I rarely turn down milk shakes.

After a while, however, I looked at my life and realized that my lack of a church home was really affecting me—and not in a good way. No matter how many “Christian” activities you do, nothing realigns your heart to and lifts your eyes from the dullness of life like a worship service with a body of believers.

Eventually, after a long and somewhat painful process, I found a congregation that, by the end of college, felt more like home than my church from high school. So, to spare you the same long and painful process, here are five tips to finding the right church at college.

Wake Up!
It may seem obvious, but just waking up on Sunday mornings overcomes the main hurdle to finding a good church home in college. Mom’s not banging on your door, and God doesn’t have attendance sheets or tests like your professors do to motivate you. Plus, you’ll never have more opportunities for things to do on a Saturday night for the rest of your life.

Finding a church is a numbers game in many ways—you’ve got to keep going until you get a hit. If you’re only going to church every few weeks, you’re not giving yourself many chances.

Different people have different methods for waking up. Some will actually go to bed at a decent hour on Saturdays. I could never get that to work, so I discovered the joy of Sunday afternoon naps. Whatever your method, getting out of bed is half the battle.

No Excuses
The two most common justifications for Christians not going to church in college are: (1) “there are no good churches around here” and (2) “I don’t need church for my Christian faith.”

Typically the only people that say “there are no good churches around here” are the people who have only visited two or three. This is a fantastic excuse because it gets you out of church while making you seem spiritually superior.

The truth is that there are almost always a few decent churches around, and even if there aren’t, you’ll still get more out of a less-than-stellar service than not going at all.

The second excuse —that Christians don’t need church—is trendy right now. There’s even a small bit of truth in it, because your faith isn’t measured by your church attendance, and you can surround yourself with a great community of believers outside of a church—friends, Christian college groups, Bible studies. It’s easy to think this way, because when I was in college my friends had a bigger impact on helping me grow spiritually than my church.

But here’s the thing: the only people I’ve ever known who say they don’t have to go to church are the people who really need to.

Shop Around
College is the time when we shake off our parents’ Christianity and make our faith our own. It’s a time to explore what you truly believe and why you believe it.

Learning about different churches is part of this. At first you’ll hate it, especially if you loved your church back home. Everything is different and you don’t know anybody.

But for me, after a while I found that I loved trying out different forms of worship. I grew up in an Episcopal church with readings, liturgy and communion every week. So to sit through a breezy Baptist service where you’re in and out in an hour and 15 minutes was liberating. I went to a charismatic Vineyard church, a hardcore Calvinist Presbyterian church, and—for one week—a Church of God in Christ with an almost entirely black congregation. Good times.

The more variety you experience, the more you’ll realize what you like.

Bring Your Friends
This is so crucial, because if you don’t you’re just going to feel alone at every church you visit. You need to have a familiar face with you when you step in the door.

Some people get together and try out a bunch of churches together. This is great for keeping each other accountable, but it’s usually hard to keep the same schedule.

I just visited all the different churches my friends would go to. If someone was attending a church I hadn’t been to yet, I’d tag along. It makes all the difference in the world if you have someone to sit next to.

Stay in Town
Many freshmen make the mistake of going home every weekend and it ruins their whole year. Going home on the weekends not only gives you no chance to find a new church home, but it also makes you miss out on the primary time to build relationships.

You can always tell who went home a lot by sophomore year, because they’re the ones without any good friends.

During my first semester, I didn’t go home for 3 months even though I only lived two hours away. My mom almost killed me, but during those weekends I met my best friends—the guys who are going to be the groomsmen in my wedding.